Modern dating, according to many folks trying to navigate it currently is a crazy, technological hellscape of checking messages on multiple different apps just to determine whether your potential suitor is a creep or, still more likely, whether they’re about to ghost you. It can sometimes be difficult to imagine that this is how to find a soulmate, and it can be a bewildering feeling.
We spoke with relationship expert and counselor Audrey Hope about what it is about ourselves and our relationship history that we should be examining in order to approach the search for love from a more holistic and genuine place, and with more hope and less frustration. She shared four different ways we could go about attracting a soulmate: it begins with us.
The first way, according to Hope, is to heal. She said, “Relationships are a mirror to reflect back to us, in order to show us what we need to learn for our souls’ healing … when you crack open the heart, the light can come in. You need everything to show itself in the full light of day in order to heal. Look at what relationships formed and what experiences you had during the pandemic and ask yourself what it brought you … What is the drama asking you to see? What am I supposed to learn? Why did I meet this person on a deeper level?”
Compassion and self-love are keys to finding a partner
When looking back at the relationships we have formed or those we have left, it is essential we seek to recognize and understand the patterns that emerge. Doing so covers the second way to attract a soulmate. “What patterns, characters, themes keep repeating in your love life?” Hope asks. “Take inventory so you won’t keep turning in the same circle — meeting the same issues over and over again.”
Thirdly, she also reminds us that while doing this soul searching, we must be gentle and loving toward ourselves. What is revealed isn’t always pretty, and we need to show ourselves compassion. “Self love is the key to finding love,” she says. “One must have a great relationship with the self and marry oneself first. If you have a donut hole and want another to fill it — you are in dangerous territory. You must see it like you are a perfect cake and the soulmate is icing on it.”
Hope expanded upon this notion of being whole before dating so that you seek companionship, not completion. She explained that this is the fourth way to attract a soulmate: “A great concept for attracting a soulmate kind of love is to become what you wish to find; Embodying the best version of you is the only chance for divine love. Become your list, stop allowing crumbs, live in high integrity, follow your heart and speak your truth.”
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