I'm worried I'll never see my son again after our family argument

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M terrified I will never see my son again.

There was a big row over my mother’s inheritance two years ago and he stopped speaking to me, his dad and his sister.


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He’s 27 and I’m 54. A few days ago, my daughter learned from a mutual friend he’d moved to a new area.

It made me so sad.

I realised I hadn’t seen him or spoken to him since before the pandemic started and I have no idea what’s going on in his life.

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I know he hates me but as his mother I still care about him deeply. Everyone says I should let things be and accept he’s now out of my life.

But he was once my sweet, loving little boy, and I can’t.

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DEIDRE SAYS: This is a form of bereavement and you are experiencing a kind of grief.

Please don’t give up hope that things can some day be resolved.

Perhaps you could write him a letter setting out all your feelings. He might not reply but at least he will know how you feel – and it might be cathartic for you.

For support, contact Stand Alone, which helps adults who are estranged from family members (standalone.org.uk).

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